Rolls Royce with a Beetle engine. It's "so terrible and wonderful all at the same time"

Back after a long break

Since last time, the Honda Express was running, ridden and then stolen.
It was brief and fun while it lasted, but even on the first ride, I found myself more than that little one speed 50cc scoot would be able to give me, even if it was tuned properly (which it was not). Still, even though it wasn't fast and could have probably benefited from more than one gear ratio, and a more skilled mechanic, it was wonderfully grin inducing. That little undersized and underpowered scooter never failed to make me smile and laugh inside my helmet.

Then, one august morning, it was gone and the only thing left behind was a cut link of the chain next to the signpost where it was locked and a scooter shaped hole in my heart. I guess all things come to an end at some point, it just felt like my time with that Honda was too short.

In memorium, I post an interview with the guy that runs Bixby Moto, a scooter shop in California that might or might not be still open.

https://ironandair.com/blogs/news/bixby-moto

I realize that this is old news, but seeing as basically no one reads this, or even reads blogs anymore, my lack of timeliness really doesn't matter.

Either way, I really like Bixby Moto. It's a shining beacon of fun in a community that often takes itself far to seriously.

"I’d rather have a handbag than a show bike."

Oh hey! It turns out Bixby Moto isn't dead! They just put up a new video like a week ago!

I'm glad to see them still having fun time.


In other news, I took my MSF class and got my motorcycle license, so if anyone wants to give me a motorcycle or sell me one for cheap, I'm all ears... not that anyone is going to see this, but ya know, it doesn't hurt to ask.

Bad Runnings

It smells like gas at my kitchen table, not the fart kind. I blame the carb in pieces next to me.

Since the last episode, I sorted the wiring harness a little bit, adjusted the points and replaced the gas tank. I bought a motorized bicycle tank from my buddy Greg and strapped it to the main tube in the front. I ditched the old tank because of the chronic pinholes and the patches I made with the JB weld were going loose. I probably could have used some tank sealer in addition to the JB weld and had a leak free tank, but I don’t really know what kind is good and it’s easier to just slap this rust/leak free tank on and be done with it. It also makes the bike look a bit better without that rack on the back. I moved the tail light to under the seat and the bike looks a bit more like a bobber or something.

I also had to put on a new spark plug boot because some shit clown cut the old one off the scooter while it was locked up. I cannot even. It had been chewed up by my old roommates cat and was covered in electrical tape to minimize shocks. It would still get you sometimes even with the tape. It was crap and someone stole it, I can't figure out why. I bought it new for I think $3. It makes my head hurt. Whatever. The new one is an upgrade. I hope no one swipes that one and if they do, I hope they have the decency to not cut the wire on my coil any shorter because I don't think I can easily replace it.

The big news is that I got it to run, very badly, but it runs. I even rode it around the block, twice! It runs really erratically and revs up real high sometimes without throttle input and then other times it doesn’t even want to idle and will just die without blipping the throttle. It also seems to bog down at full throttle. I’m pretty sure I could outrun it at full throttle. I’ve been trying to figure it out and I think it might be “four stroking” where it’s not firing every other stroke, but skipping an extra cycle in between. I guess adjusting the mixture is supposed to fix that. I didn’t find a good explanation as to how to do it though. More research on that is needed.

I saw a youtube video of someone pulling out the idle jet tube to clean out some holes at the top. I carefully got mine out with a pair on some pliers. It doesn’t have any holes at the top in the side of the idle jet tube when you pull it out with pliers, unlike the video. Supposedly if these holes are a common clog/clean/fix situation, but it’s not the case for me. Pulling it out is going to let me get it extra clean though. I’d love to pull out the main jet and clean it, but I can’t seem to figure out how to press out the main jet. I might go grab some pipe cleaners and see if those help.

I have a carb rebuild kit that I bought from treats and it seems to have extra parts and maybe not have an exact fit. It seems like the Honda Expresses had a different carb every other year and even different carbs for the same year. It’s a third party (non-OEM) kit so we’ll see how it goes. It had fun 80’s-tastic packaging though so I’m pretty optimistic. 

The carb on my 1980 Honda express NC50 says “PA08BBRI” and then has some marks that look like the Atari symbol but missing some lines. I found a page on Myrons Mopeds that seems to have some relevant info.

Float needle valves are different between P08BA and P08BB. I might have the wrong one in there.  Honda part no. 16155-883-005 is the one I’m supposed to have in there according to myrons mopeds. I have something in there that looks more like the other one for the P08BA carb, honda part 16011-881-741, called the stirrup version, as opposed to the regular one in the PA08BB. I don’t know if it really makes a difference though. The rebuild kit came with one that looks like the right one for my carb.

It also looks like I’m supposed to have a different float. I have a black plastic one in there now but I guess I’m supposed to have a yellow hollow plastic one in there. I wonder if the float and float needle valves go together. Hmmm.

(Carb part info source: http://www.myronsmopeds.com/2015/01/other-moped-carburetors/)

Video intermission

The engine holds torque and is in all one piece... but the bike won't start. I have a feeling my wiring is at fault. I'm going to pull out my secret kill switch because I think it might be weakening the spark. I also disabled the oil injection so I don't have to worry about the tank not keeping the fluids separate. I think my premix might be a bit off right now, but some extra oil on the rings might not be so bad.

We'll see how the wiring harness editing goes.

Until then, here's something that gets me stoked that I saw on Jalopnik the other day.

Stripped and Leaky

My little Honda Express NC50 still sits in my kitchen with its engine in pieces. I'm sick with some kind of cold/flu/phelmpocalipse. The helicoils didn't hold in the bottom left (bikes left) hole and stripped out my brand new engine stud.

So, I dabbed some good ole JB weld on the stripped out helicoil hole and I'm going to try to tap and coil it again. I'm hoping that will be enough for the coil to hold.

Also, I'm going to switch to the older style engine studs. The newer ones are just bolts that go through the head and cylinder and screw into the case. Every time you pull the head you have to undo and then reinstall these screws into the case. Everytime you do this is an opportunity to chew up the threads in the case. When reinstalling, the head, 2 gaskets and cylinder are in one hand while the other hand is juggling and installing these 4 long screws to hold the whole thing together. This seems like a great way to crossthread those screws and have to helicoil.

It seems like most other engines have studs that are like a threaded bar that screws into the case and then the cylinder, gaskets and head slide onto these studs and then nuts and washers tighten the whole thing together. This means the stud/engine case connection is messed with less and the helicoils probably stay in more securely.

The 1977 Honda nc50 parts sheets have regular style threaded bar type studs while later models, including my 1980, have the bolts that seem to want you to ruin the threads in your case. I'm wondering why this changed. The older ones had nuts and washers at the end of the threaded bar so that's three parts for each stud and there are four so that makes 12 parts. The newer style ones just have the four bolts. Maybe it was a cost saving, simplifying thing.

I'm slightly concerned the stud change might be a servicing thing. There's a bar between the footpegs that's right there by the head and I hope it wouldn't get in the way when putting the cylinder and head on the threaded bar style studs. I wonder if the old style setup required removing the engine from the frame to mess with the head etc. I guess I'll find out. If I have to pull the engine to make it happen, then that's just what I'm going to do.

Also, the tank doesn't seem to be keeping gas and oil separate. The gas turned blue from the synthetic 2 stroke oil, and the oil, smells like gas and seems very thin. I think my short term solution will be to just plug/loop the oil injection and run it premix. A long term fix might be a tank sealer kit, but I'm not sure how big the leak is. Maybe I'll be getting a new tank. I've always liked the idea of getting rid of the rack and tank setup on the back and putting something on the backbone or top tube or whatever you call it. I'm pretty sure it'll run on the mix I have in the tank right now, even though the mix is really heavy on the oil. I'm going to solve the engine stud problem first and worry about the tank later.

Shopping list:
Older style engine studs/nuts/washers
Blue locktite for the studs
Exhaust crush gasket
Maybe a torque wrench
Perhaps some feeler guages

Nutting (and Bolting)

This is good, I should do this to all my bikes.

I Jinxed Myself

I've been telling people about how I'm so close to getting my moped running and I'm pretty sure I jinxed myself. I finally had some time to spend cursing at the Honda and of course I found as many problems as I fixed. 

First fix was pretty easy, the pinhole in the top of the gas tank. I had intitially patched it with a piece of bubblegum because according to a the friendly youtubing Canadian, AvE, gum is made from a petroleum resistant food grade plastic so it would be perfect for the job. Turns out, it doesn't work, it just kind of melted. Maybe Canadian gum would work better. 

No matter though. The quarter I used to seal the leaky oil sight seems to be holding up great, so I just JB welded a dime over the pinhole on the top of the tank.

The main project was making the engine stay together nice and tight. I got new engine studs and helicoils in the mail the other day so I was ready to fix the stripped out threads in the crank case. 

When I opened the case, a bunch of water came out. No good. Where did this crap come from? I contemplated this while I installed helicoils in two out of the four holes. Each one took a couple tries and the top right (the bike's right) has two helicoils stuffed in there. The bottom left one had to be drilled a bit more and neither were drilled very straight (Not my fault! It was the other guy that worked on it before me)

So now I have good threads in a case that had a bunch of water in it. I'm trying to soak up the puddle with a rag and then spray some compressed air and wd40 in there and hope for the best. I tightened the oil pump, maybe that's where the water came in? Maybe it was the loose studs?

I'm glad that hole in the tank is patched, but looking at the fuel lines, I'm wondering if the two parts of the tank are still sealed off from each other. There looks like there's a whole lot of oil in the gas line. 

The bike is still in parts in the kitchen, so I guess my next step is to try to dry and reassemble the engine and see if it'll fire. Then maybe try to figure out it the tank is keeping the oil and gas separate. Maybe I will be buying a new tank and premixing. 

Or maybe I'll just throw the godforsaken bike into the river because it seems like my bike hates me. 

Hella Coils

I hope I'm better at installing these things than the previous owner. Hopefully they'll hold. I'm not super optimistic. This bike doesn't seem to want to run and the other person that worked on this before me is just as bad at working on engines as me, if not worse. I really hope this works. 

I'm just waiting on the engine studs. Partmonster or whatever website I ordered them from said they should be here Wednesday. I'll let you know how it goes. 

One Step Forward Two Steps Back

I brought the 'ped inside today to see if I could figure out how I could keep this engine together tight enough to hold compression and run (see previous post for details of stripped engine studs). While dragging it's lifeless body in from the street, I noticed not only was the carb still leaking (I have to remember to get some gaskets to hopefully solve that problem) but there was also a pinhole leak in the tank right by the gas cap.

Welding the hole shut would probably be the ideal solution... even JB welding it would be pretty ok (I JB welded a quarter over the leaky oil sight window previously) but, whatever. I just chewed up some gum and smushed it over the leak. Oh god how this bike must hate me.

I can tell it hates me. It should, I've done little other than fool with it and fix it poorly, and I've taken way too long to do what few shoddy repairs to it that I've done so far. This bike has a history though. I've learned a bit about it today. The engine case has been heli coiled. Not only did a previous (more than one, I assume, I don't know how many) owner cook the wiring harness by welding a coil mount under the seat, the case was drilled and heli coiled.

This is the root of my problems. Fucking Heli coils. I bought a tap/die set from Home Despot in hopes of cleaning up the threads and having everything work out. Did it work? Hell no!

Instead of chasing some M6 x 1mm threads in the case, I ended up removing the heli coil. Also, it's been drilled out so much that I can't tap it to a 7mm thread and just use oversize engine studs.

I guess I'm going to try to heli coil it once more. I have to look up the whole helicoil thing first.

Whenever I think I've fixed one thing on this hunk of junk, I find two more things wrong with it.

Failure to launch

Fuck! It doesn't run. I filled it up with gas and it won't fucking start. I tried so many times. Only once, it made one good "pop" like it was about to fire up.  One tantalizing moment to get my hopes up and then nothing at all. What a tease. 

I pulled the plug, and held it next to the engine and yes, it made a spark. It was also slightly moist, so I'm pretty sure fuel was getting to the engine.

The equation is fuel, spark and compression combine to make a running engine. The last piece of my puzzle was compression. 

As I was kicking it over, I thought I saw something come out the side of the engine. I crouched down in the gas station parking lot and put my hand next to the engine as I tried to start it a few more times. I could feel a breeze coming out of the side of the engine, right where the head meets the cylinder. The engine wasn't holding pressure. No compression. Fuck me!

The whole time I was working on the bike, I was always suspicious of the compression. I hadn't sprung for a gauge so I gave it the "thumb test". The thumb test make might be different for other situations, but on an engine, you pull out the spark plug, hold your thumb over the hole while you crank the engine over and hold the throttle open. It should blow your thumb off.  I could feel it making something, but it didn't really push my thumb off. I chalked it up to having strong hands and told myself it's probably fine. 

Apparently, it's not. I walked the Honda Express home (tried to bump start it on the little hill on the way back from the gas station in a moment of hopefulness) I tore down the head when it back in my living room. My living room reeks of gasoline now. I'm amazed my girlfriend how puts up with me. 

When I got it open, I cleaned the head gasket and the faces of the head and the cylinder that it touches. When I tried to put it back together, the bottom left engine stud wouldn't thread in. Even with 3 other studs in there, the last one wasn't grabbing. It just wouldn't fucking go no matter how much I fucking swore at it. 

I pulled the stupid thing apart again and this time in my rage induced careful inspection, I noticed the threads on the studs were fucked. 

There's you're problem! It looks like the threads in the engine case that the studs screw into are fucked up too. Not as bad as the screws, but they don't look so hot. I'm going to have to deal with them. I wish I could just order some new studs and make it work. Maybe that's what I'll try first. 

I think I need to drill it and tap it. I might be able to use a heli coil, but I really don't know much about those. 

I'm also concerned that I might need a new head gasket because this one had been installed and removed a bunch of times. I guess I should worry about the studs first. 

Speaking of gaskets, I'm also going to be shopping for a carburetor rebuild kit too, because it's leaking gas. Maybe it's good that it didn't start because it might have caught fire. 

So it's not running. I thought it was ready. I even bought a helmet the other day. So close, yet so far. The helmet is dope though. It's a Bell Mx-9 Adventure. I got the white one so it makes me look like a storm trooper.

 Dammit, I'm pissed at these engine studs. So close, yet so far.